New place

 Hi and assalamualaikum

Rasa macam baru je masuk tahun 2021, now dah end of February dah. Cepat masa berlalu. Rasanya dah almost 1 month tak kerja sebab cuti nak pindah, campur dengan kuarantin lagi hahahaha

Yeap, tengah kuarantin sekarang. Alhamdulillah bukan kuarantin sebab covid eventhough I've been handling the patients like almost 2 months. Well, kan placement dekat Sarawak, so nak enter this state, I have to take swab and kena kuarantin dekat Sarawak. So far dah 1 week plus (including today dah D9 of quarantine) hehe. So ikut guideline diorang, I kena do another swab on day 10 which is tomorrow la. Can't wait lol. Sakit taukkkkk hewhewhew. Yang buat dekat airport tu totally sakit gila nak mati. Never rasa sakit macam tu sepanjang buat swab hahahaha.

So dah tahu dah dapat hospital mana, but not gonna reveal it now lol please han. So basically I got hospital dekat bandar dan berpakar, alhamdulillah. So habis je kuarantin nanti, akan fly pergi sana. Surely it's not kuching because nak kena fly lagi kan hehehehe.

Rindu dekat kawan kawan dekat lipis. Rindu semua orang. Sedih sangat masa left the place because I really want to work there. I like the place, I like the people and I like that comfort zone that I have. But Allah taknak it goes that way, so DIA hantar jauh sejauh jauhnya, maybe sebab nak suruh keluar dari comfort zone, nak suruh jadi orang yang lebih berguna. But to be honest, sedih sangat sebab I really want to work there, in Lipis but tak ada rezeki kan, nak buat macam mana.

I didn't do proper farewell party or meet everyone. I just met some people and say goodbye. Because I hate farewell and goodbye, I am afraid of myself, I might just cry. It's actually good to express it, but I am afraid I might just keep crying as I know myself very well, very very well. I didn't even say say proper goodbye to some MOs that I like, because I really don't want to say goodbye. And even to my specialists. Well, I want to work with them but it's just that I didn't get the opportunity to do so. But to me, whatever they have taught me throughout my hoship and floating moship, i will always remember and keep it as something precious.

Even up until now, when I am in Kuching now, my heart will always be there. Because I'm used to that place, and those people. I know I miss them. I miss everyone that I like and treasure.

I am actually quite afraid to be in this new place. I am quite a reserved type, I only talk to people I am comfortable with. And with my low self confidence, will I be able to make it? This place is totally new but hey, finally I am in this Bumi Kenyalang. With this, I've been to all state yo! I mean like, superficially hahahahaha. 

I have no one here, I only have my friends that I got to know from some other hospital , plus my friend yang dapat same hospital with me, well he is my colleague masa HO so yeah we know each other.

I really hope I could stay positive throughout this year. I think I am quite stable this year lol. Maybe because I am not much terdedah with toxic people, and because someone said to be positive this year, so I want to. Last year dekat instagram, selalu update my picture masa floating with sad quotes or description macam nak quit, then this year I deleted all the photos sebab I want my insta to be positive.

I hope I will be fine in this new place. I really want to do my best with guidance. Takut sangat but I have to do it. Because someone said "be confident, be brave" like so many times to me. And the most important part, is to be mature enough, compare to masa dekat Lipis lol I know I am penakut sikit but it's okay someone will guide me, I believe. 

To everyone out there who stumble upon my blog atau terbaca dengan sengaja, please doakan benda benda baik untuk doktor kontrak ni. Doakan dia boleh do well, always dalam guidance semua orang, banyak selamatkan orang, tak harm anyone and always do good. And of course, please doakan si introvert ni untuk selalu happy, because what I wish for is to always be happy wherever I go. Kalau tak doakan dapat jodoh pun takpe tapi please doakan, I can be brave and much more confident.

You can do it Han. You can do this. Walk slowly. It's okay!

Oh yeah, don't forget to get Suju's latest album. Idk, lately I am not into fangirl anymore. Idk why. But at least, I am still writing. I mean, I  still do thing I like.

Han.